Friday, March 26, 2010

Best Friend Excitement!

Okay, nothing baby related in this post at all.

I am super excited, Jesse and I leave in four short days for Maine, we leave on the 31st and I am SO pumped to see Jules! It has been probably about 6 months since she and her husband were up here to visit, and it's so hard for us to go even 6 months without seeing each other, but 6 months it has to be with money and our schedules and such.

I will seriously get butterflies in my stomach right before Jules picks us up from the airport, honestly, whenever I get ready to see my best friend again, I feel JUST like I did anytime I would be about to see Jesse again when we were dating and engaged. The butterflies, nervousness, excitement, Jules is someone I love dearly and I can't wait to give her a huge hug.

We have a bunch of fun things planned, and even though it's a crappy month of the year to go to Maine, lots of rain and such, nothing will put a damper on our spirits, absolutely nothing. I'm sure there will be plenty of coffees together (omg, I can't wait for that), movies, xbox, random shopping trips, staying up late, seeing our old house, going to the ocean, and lots and lots of talks and shared glances. I'm getting so excited as I talk about seeing her, I don't know how I can wait four more days! At least I will be super busy, so hopefully it will go by really fast.

I am so blessed to have Julie as my friend, I have NEVER had such a close and dear friend, I have a lot of close and dear friends, but with Julie it's several more levels of closeness and dearness - no one can understand, unless they have a bosom friend and a kindred spirit like this. But I tell you what, it's a tremendous feeling.

I think one thing I love the most about Jules, is that I will never offend her in any way, she knows me down to my very core, knows my thoughts and my reasons behind things that I say, and for that reason alone, she will never get offended, and vice versa. And believe me, we've had plenty of arguments (yes we get really mad at each other, lol) but it's seriously like a marriage with us, it's awesome. We know each other so well, we can't stay mad for too long. ;)

We will take plenty of pictures and I can't wait to have all the memories tucked away in my mind after we leave.

So do you have a bosom friend? A close and dear kindred spirit? If you're not sure, then you don't know how wonderful it is, I was just very blessed to have Julie come into my life, and if you are fortunate enough to have a "Julie" in your life, you will find yourself very blessed as well.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Mother's Day Thoughts

There are only about 6 weeks left until Mothers Day, and I honestly thought that by now, I would be celebrating the 2010 Mothers Day, even if it just meant I was carrying a child, that would still make me a mother. There will be so much celebration and love going around on that day, and as much as I will try my best to focus on celebrating my wonderful mother, there will still be a sadness in my heart.

I read this prayer online this morning, from someone I don't know, but someone who loves the Lord and wants a child as badly as I do....I was encouraged, convicted, inspired, I want to pray this prayer every day.

Lord, help me to know that You are enough.
Take my eyes off of myself.
Take my eyes off of the child I desire.
Help me to delight myself in You.
Mold the desires of my heart to be in line with Your will.
I don't want to need to be a mother more than I need to be your humble, obedient child.
I don't want wanting to have a baby to be a stumbling block between You and me anymore.

Lord, I want to give this desire, this drive, this ache up to You.
Help me not to snatch it back as I so often do with the burdens I place in Your hands.
Help me to be truly content with Your will and Your timing.

Lord, You know that I still desire a baby - someone to mold, teach, train, shape, guide, and help to grow in You.
But until the day You give me that joyous blessing, help me to grow in You.
Let me reach out to those around me.
Let me witness and minister to the children You place in my path.

Lord, if adoption is the path You would have us take, prepare our hearts, and prepare the child who will share our home.
If adoption is not Your will for our lives, keep me from pushing ahead of Your plan.
Help me to stay submitted to my husband's will, and to Your will.
If we are headed in the wrong direction, change our hearts.

Thank You for lifting my burden.
Help me to keep You first! Let me seek Your face daily, and let me know that You are enough!

Fertility Prayer by Jennifer Saake

Friday, March 19, 2010

Blessed Distractions

As I walk along this very difficult and bumpy baby journey, I am so grateful for every blessed distraction I get, (note: I am pronouncing "blessed" like "bless-ed" with the emphasis on "ed"). But I definitely know I'm very blessed by distractions as well, but for this instance, I'm using this particular way of saying it because of the way I feel at this moment. :)

This has been a very difficult week, bump wise in my journey, finding out some pretty shocking news not about myself, but a friend, and it has made it hard to trust in the Lord, but He has been gracious. He has allowed me to lean on Him incredibly hard and I'm finding that instead of being bitter, I can reach out to this dear friend and speak words of truth and comfort.

So I've definitely had some distractions this week, which are always good, I think I made them for myself, but nevertheless, they are blessed distractions. I have watched many makeup tutorials (as many of you know, I'm mad about makeup) and have started making a couple makeup video tutorials myself, and put them on facebook. Several people have asked me how I do my makeup and what techniques I use, so I have found this to be a great distraction for me this week. Makeup is something I am very passionate about, and I have actually started considering the makeup artist route, and would love to pursue it amateurly (is that a word?) for a while and then hopefully as I gain more experience, become more of a professional freelance makeup artist.

Also, I recently found out that our apartment complex has a tanning salon, and I really wish I'd found out about this sooner - it's incredibly cheap! Now I just have to be careful to not abuse the convienence of it and go too much, but I'm not worried that I will - I'm pretty careful because I know that tanning isn't the best for one's skin. But I am excited about getting some nice color before summer and before I start going to the pool again. And no tan lines!!

Of course another distraction is knowing that in only 11 days from today, we are leaving for Maine to see my very best friend in the entire world. Oh it will be such a wonderful week of vacation and catching up, and I'm looking forward to that week with every fiber of my being - each day that goes by, that brings me closer to that glorious date of being in Julie's arms again, makes me smile even bigger.

And one more distraction as I end this is a quote I found to be very amusing today, and thought I would share it with you guys.

"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny."
-- Garrison Keillor

Monday, March 15, 2010

A New Week

A new week is here, and goodness, life seems to be flying by so quickly. The older I get, the quicker time flies. I'm sure all of my readers who are older than me can definitely attest to that fact. Oh and just an FYI, I did start my period, it was just brought on by several days of weird spotting - but thinking back to when I did have periods before ever going on birth control, this period resembles what my periods used to look like - so I'll take that as an encouraging sign that my body is really trying to get things back to normal.

In other exciting news, Jesse and I fly to see our best friends in Maine in only 15 days!! We leave the 31st and stay for an entire week! I absolutely cannot wait, while I do have so many awesome friends with whom I love to hang out, there is nothing like visiting your best friend in the whole world, she understands me and loves me like no one else does, (besides my husband of course).

In other news, the Lord truly convicted me last week that I was not spending time in the Word like I should, and not putting Him first in the morning after I would get up, so He was very gracious and has allowed me to change that, and I'm very grateful that He doesn't give up on giving me gentle reminders. Putting Christ first in the mornings really does give me different and more positive outlooks on life, and it does wonders for my marriage.....fancy that. :) And it's such a small yet monumental change I can make in my life every day.

So let me ask you, have you spent time in the Word today?

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Body - a Very Puzzling Thing Indeed

Right now my body is doing weird things and I have no idea why - I've had a tiny bit of spotting that happened a couple of days ago, so I thought for sure I would start my period, even though I'd had none of the PMS symptoms or signs at all leading up to that point.

Well, it turned into nothing, and here I am, still no period, and wondering what my body is doing. I've thought perhaps it could have been ovulation spotting, but to my knowledge I've never had that before, but it could be if my body is starting to get back on track. But I've only been on this diet and work out program for probably 3 weeks now, I don't know if that's long enough for my body to make these kinds of changes - but what do I know?

It is tough because I had resigned myself that my period was starting, and then it didn't, so then of course my mind starts wandering and I start thinking other things, but I just can't go there - I've "gone" there SO many times in the past and it has just led to heartache. I just can't be disappointed again. I just can't.

So who knows what my body is doing, could be that it's just having hormonal shifts since I started working out, and maybe my body is trying to get back into what a normal body's rhythm should be, who knows. And I have to also keep telling myself that it will be two years in May that we got off birth control, and could be it's been that long for my body to get back to normal itself, and that's why it's doing different things, because perhaps finally, it's gotten back to where it needs to be.

These are the questions that are puzzling my mind this morning.....all I can do is look to the Lord and pray and wait.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


First, an update on my weight loss/muscle gain progress......I've officially lost a pound since going on this diet/lifestyle change, I'm extremely excited about seeing results, and not only have I lost a pound, I have lost several inches around my middle (where I gain the most weight) and I'm gaining muscles in my arms from lifting weights! If that's not progress, I don't know what is. :) It's such a huge encouragement to see results after changing my diet and working out consistently for only a couple of weeks!

Secondly, I have been experimenting with cooking healthier and putting more whole wheat and less sugar in things that I bake. I'm actually quite proud of myself and quite happy with the results in my cooking and baking changes that I've been making - so far, baking wise, I've made brownies with all whole wheat flour and a little less sugar than the recipe called for, and last night I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with half whole wheat flour, and I substituted some honey for the sugar it called for - both baking experiences were wonderful and the desserts tasted yummy! I've been also cooking with more veggies and leaner meats, and as far as snacks go, we've been snacking on rice cakes, veggie chips and fruit and veggies - it hasn't been that hard to switch to these healthier options either, for that I'm eternally grateful.

Thirdly, I've been doing REALLY good with my working out - it's awesome to be able to go to the mirror and see little biceps in my arms for the first time EVER! Seriously, this is amazing! It seriously is fascinating me, to the point of weirdness I think, lol. I've been able to work out for longer periods of time as well, and not get as tired, I love being able to do more sets of my exercises then when I first started, I know I'm getting stronger.

My goal is to hopefully be as close to 139 as possible before we leave for Maine in 3 weeks - right now I'm 6 pounds away from that, so it will be tough, but I'm sure I will be close, it's a motivation for me to work really hard. I love setting goals and seeing if I can meet them. I haven't weighed what I weigh right now in a long time - I was 115 when I got married, then gained probably 5-10 pounds within the first year or two of marriage, a pretty healthy weight gain. Then getting off the pill in May of 2008 was when I gained the majority of my weight and got up to a whopping 155 by last summer/fall. :shudder: Never want to be there again, that's for sure. So knowing that I'm 6 pounds away from being in the 130's again is an amazing feeling.

This post makes me happy....I love progress in the right direction. Tell me what progress you've been making in your life lately!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Changing Blog Hosts

I just moved here to blogspot from wordpress, I just wasn't happy with the customizing options over at wordpress, and as I researched blogspot further, I found that I really liked it a lot better. So I moved all of my blog posts over here and will be blogging here from now on.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Thankfulness.....a Lost Character Trait

There are so many things we take for granted, and I do believe as this world becomes more techy and people become lazier in their every day lives, thankfulness is being shoved right out the window.

I have been greatly convicted and encouraged by friends and blog posts around me who are choosing to be thankful for all the small things they have been blessed with. I want to write out a few things that I’m thankful for today…..and may I challenge you to do the same? Choose thankfulness today, we have so much.

- A loving husband who stands by me in my ups and my downs, who is strong and unwavering, who loves me for being me.

- The word of the Lord that is there for me whenever I need it, I just don’t pick it up often enough like I should. But I know it’s always there!

- Yes I’m struggling to get pregnant right now, but my body is healthy otherwise – I don’t have cancer, I’m not disabled, I don’t have any life threatening diseases trying to take my life, the Lord has blessed me with a healthy body, and gives me breath each day to keep living.

- Family and friends – I am surrounded by them, and surrounded by amazing family and friends! I love people, I love friends, I love family, I love to have them around me at all times, they make me so happy and I am so thankful the Lord has blessed me with so many.

- Even though Jesse doesn’t have a job, the Lord is continually blessing me with music students, and there is always money coming in somehow, we have everything we need and then some, Lord, please continue to show us how we can be faithful stewards of the money you give us.

- Music – oh where would I be without music? Music is involved in my life in some way, every single day, my life wouldn’t be quite as complete without music. I always have a song in my heart!

What are you thankful for today?