Friday, December 30, 2011

Goals for 2012

Can't believe the year 2012 is just around the corner! Here are a few goals of mine for this next year......

- Officially start our new Bible study small group and make several new couple friends with kids who live really close by

- Get more involved in our church - me with the worship music and choir, and Jesse with whatever he can find to get involved in

- Possibly start a part time nannying job in the spring

- Become more flexible with Cassie and get used to going out with her and not letting it mess up the routine I think we need

- Stop breast feeding sometime between August and October, and then start trying for baby number two, hopefully it won't take us nearly as long this next time :)

- Grow closer to the Lord, and actually start having somewhat of a prayer life

- Grow closer to my husband, go out on dates more, and really show him that we are best friends for life

- Get a mini van

- Continue staying in the 120's weight wise and being more active

- Read more books

- Drive to Arkansas for the first time since Cassie was born

- Sing a lot more and find friends who want to sing with me

- Experiment with makeup more on different people and get more comfortable with it

- Stay on top of sending out birthday cards to all our family members

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Cassie's First Christmas

Christmas 2011 has come and gone....and instead of us going anywhere to visit family this year, we decided to stay here and celebrate Christmas with just the three of us. It was wonderful - nice, quiet and we were just so happy to be together as a little family. And what a wonderful Christmas present we got this year with the arrival of our sweet little girl, she was definitely the highlight of our Christmas. :)

We celebrated Christmas Eve with a yummy dinner that I cooked, complete with ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, broccoli in a cheese sauce, and Christmas cookies.

Christmas Day found us going to church for the first time with Cassie, which actually proved to be difficult, lol, because our church meets in a highschool and they don't really have accommodations for nursing moms - we ended up leaving early, but at least we tried! That afternoon as Cassie napped, Jesse and I opened our gifts to each other, nothing major, but each one was special and fun. Jesse and I had each bought Cassie a gift and we opened them while we video recorded it so we would have documentation of her first Christmas, she was so cute.

Then that evening, we headed to have dessert at Jesse's aunt and uncle's house with a lot of his other extended family - we had yummy snacks, games and fun Christmas carols. Fun times to be had by all!

We are so blessed this year, can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for 2012!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I have much to be grateful for this so much to be thankful for. Yes life isn't easy, but when is it ever easy? For me the important thing to remember is every single blessing the Lord has blessed us with. I love that Thanksgiving reminds me of what the Lord has given to our little family - sadly enough, sometimes it is a holiday like this that corrects my negative thinking and reminds me where my joy does come from. Thank the Heavenly Father He never gives up on me! :)

I am a huge fan of lists....for this reason, and like many times before, I am going to list several things that I am especially grateful for this year - I know that the list is endless, but I want to list a few.

- A Savior who never gives up on us and who gives us so many reasons to be grateful this holiday season.

- A beautiful, healthy baby daughter who didn't exist last year, but has made our lives so incredibly joyful and blessed - we love our baby girl, our miracle child!

- A husband who is so very patient and kind, and who works so very hard for our family to provide and be there for us, and who loves me beyond what I deserve.

- A warm and spacious house to live in and share our lives together.

- Christmas music, yes I have already been playing it for a week or so now, because I believe the Christmas season is way too short to only play it after Thanksgiving! ;)

- Pumpkin spice coffee...its the little things in life.

- Being back down to my weight that I was before getting pregnant, the smallest I have been in a very long time, and not even really trying!

- Getting to see Jesse's brother and his wife, and their two adorable twin boys, it's been way too long.

- In-laws that will babysit Cassie whenever and wherever we need, what a blessing.

- My family that we will get to see at Christmas, very excited to spend Christmas with them, and show Cassie off to the rest of my brothers, and to all my other friends in Arkansas.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Discovering Myself

Firstly, a little blog news from me....I have changed the title and URL of my blog, obviously it was called "Our Baby Journey" because of the road we were on, and now that the Lord has blessed us with a beautiful baby girl, I have re named it. :)

And now onto what this post is about.

I have been trying to discover who I am now that I'm a mommy.....its actually been quite difficult. I feel as if I've lost my identity and become a non confident, self conscious person and I don't really like it! My friends and family have been trying to encourage me and remind me of who I am, but its proving to be hard for me to accept for some reason.

I know I'm still Anna, but now that I'm a mommy too, what does that make me? Who am I? I have a new body that I'm trying to adjust too, mostly my jiggly and stretch marked stomach, it will take some getting used to. I find it hard to like myself some days, which isn't good because then it plays out in front of my family and friends in non positive ways.

The easiest thing for me to do these days when I'm in this rut, is to remind myself what I have and how blessed I am. I also know it would help if my walk with the Lord was to be strengthened, I'm working on that. I literally have to remind myself of how grateful I am for my life every hour of every day, otherwise I get bogged down on how horrible I think I look, or how I think no one loves me because I'm such a handful, things like that. I know these are just lies from Satan, but when you're running on as little sleep as I am, you get very down and emotional, very easily.

It is also difficult because I have a lot of friends here in Minnesota, but most of them live farther away, anywhere from 15-20 minutes away to an hour away - I would love to have a friend that was just a couple minutes away, that I really connected with and could count on and they could count on me. I am going to start praying for such a friend, or maybe several! Jesse and I are looking to start a small group Bible study through our church for young married couples with families or starting families, and we're hoping to find several couples closer to our Lakeville area, so Lord willing we will find some awesome new friends. :)

Thankfully through all of this "self identity crisis" stuff, my sweet and wise husband is being very amazing and loving, I couldn't do it without him. Also my best friend in Maine, Julie, and my mom are always there to encourage me and remind me where I came from and who I am - I love you both so VERY much.

I can't wait to find out who I am in this new phase of my life and how I can be a better mother to my baby, and a better wife to my wonderful husband - hopefully I will find out sooner rather then later! ;)


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Life with a newborn

Yes much much different then life before a newborn, lol. But of course all the sleepless nights are totally worth it when I see my baby look up at me when I talk to her and smile her beautifully cute smile in her sleep. This is the life I've been wanting for so long, sleepless and long nights and all. :)

Life will never go back to normal, and that's a good thing! My life right now consists of feeding Cassie, pumping extra milk for times that we need it, changing her diapers, doing her laundry, giving her all the TLC I can give and much more.

I'm still trying to find a routine for us since my mom left this past weekend, I'm sure we'll settle into one eventually, but we're not quite there yet. I have yet to do any cooking since I had her, and I wasn't doing too much before that! We did get a couple of very gracious meals from friends the first week which helped out SO much, but now its time for me to get a few meals on the table, perhaps today I will make a soup, that sounds good. :)

Different and difficult things are going on in other parts of my life right now at the same time, nothing with our family specifically, and nothing I can go into, but I'm having to try to deal with all of that as well as deal with this new life of mine. This is the time I really need to rely on the Lord and cry out to Him, I absolutely can't do it without Him, and I'm foolish for even trying. I want Cassie's mom to be a role model for her, so she will know the amazing grace of our Heavenly Father - so that is my goal this next week and in the weeks to come.

BTW, if you're local and haven't come to see our little bundle of joy, we'd love to have visitors! ;)


Friday, October 7, 2011

Cassie's Birth Story

Our baby girl is here!! Cassandra Faith Sullivan arrived at 1:47 am Thursday morning, September 29th, she weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and was 19 and a half inches long. It was a very hard and long day, but we have a beautiful daughter out of it and are SO in love!! Here's her story:

We got up that morning around five because we needed to call by 6:30 to see if they could get us in, we had to wait all morning before they finally told us to come in. So after only a few hours of sleep, we went to the hospital at 12 for my induction, got right in, got hooked up, and the on call OB came in and broke my water, and put me on a teeny bit of pitocin. At that point I was still 3 centimeters and 80% effaced. My body was so ready, I had my first real and hard labor contractions within a half hour or so. It was at that time I knew I would definitely be needing that epidural.

After about an hour or two, the contractions had gotten really bad and everytime the nurses would check me, I would be more dilated and effaced, things progressed so fast we thought she would be delivered soon! They turned off the pitocin, and I continued progressing on my own very well and fast.

After a few hours of barely making it through contractions, they finally told me I could get the epidural, beautiful music to my ears. Oh and at this point, a fun fact was that everytime a nurse would check me, they told me they could feel lots of hair on Cassie! I was so excited! That is definitely from my side of the family.

So finally the anesthesiologist came in and gave me the miracle meds. I totally don't mind needles, but having to sit still during contractions during the epidural was incredibly hard. Once it took effect though, I was in heaven, and was so numb I had to keep asking Jesse to check the monitors to make sure I was still having contractions! Of course I was, all on my own without pitocin.

Time passed really quickly for us and the two moms that were in there, and it seemed I would have her soon. Well once I reached 8-9 centimeters, things started really slowing down and petering off, so they put me on pitocin again. That helped get things started again, and finally the dr came in, checked me and said I could start pushing with each contraction, this was around 10:00 pm or so.

I started pushing with the help of Jesse and our moms, getting the baby down lower. It was extremely tough! After a while of pushing, the dr came in to check on me and informed me that there was a slight issue, Cassie's head was face up instead of the preferred head down position. He said lots of women delivered like this, but it made pushing and delivery a lot harder because of the way the head would have to come through the pelvis. It was hard for us to hear, but I was more then determined to do it. Oh and it was so funny and cute, Cassie was one very active baby in the womb, and proved to be just as spunky and active during the entire labor process, even after delivery. :)

So I kept pushing, and as I did, the epidural started wearing off, and that scared me, I knew and felt that I could not deal with the pain. The nurses kept telling me I had plenty, but I wasn't convinced. Jesse during this time, and a day was absolutely amazing and supportive. I could not have done it without him, he was my rock and made me love him so much more.

After pushing for a couple hours, and really getting no where, the dr started getting discouraged and basically gave us our options. He said we could keep pushing and trying really hard, and he would get the vacuum out to assist me with every push, or we could have a c section. Once he said that, it scared me, the last thing I wanted was a c section, I had prayed that nothing like that would happen. So we all said, we can do this, we will keep pushing with the help of the vacuum.

So we pushed for another hour, the meds almost wore off, I had to get oxygen because I was trying so hard and was so exhausted and in a ton of pain. The dr kept trying, but finally he said we couldn't do this to me and my body anymore , and obviously for the baby. The baby was stuck behind my pelvis because of her face up position and we just weren't getting anywhere. So it was then, around one in the morning that he said we had to do the c section.

I was so disappointed I had to fight back the tears. I felt like a failure, but the dr and the nurses kept saying, I could not get the baby out any other way, I had tried as hard as I could. I was still scared to death though. But I was so exhausted that I was glad to see an end in sight.

We said goodbye to the moms, and Jesse and I headed to the operating room with the staff. After they had gotten me all prepped and ready, they brought Jesse in to sit with me, which was so good because I was nauseous and so scared.

After only a few minutes of slight pressure and pulling, the dr said, "Wow, yeah this baby is big!" it was then that Jesse and I heard that first beautiful cry of our miracle first born. I was overwhelmed with such love and emotion, I burst into tears, and so did Jesse. They gave us a quick peek before they went to clean her up. Then Jesse got to go see her and cut the umbilical cord and I kept saying, "What does she look like? I want to see her! When do I get to see her!!" Oh and they weighed her and we were surprised she was 8 lbs 7 oz, definitely bigger then we thought she would be, and it made me feel better that there was nothing I could have done to push her out.

Finally they brought my baby over and I got my first look at my daughter who was absolutely beautiful. I still couldn't stop crying! Then Jesse went down with the baby and the nurses to go get measured and checked out, and so the moms could meet her. I had to stay in the OR obviously because they had to finish putting me back together.

I couldn't wait to go back down and be with my baby since I hadn't gotten to hold her yet! It was a wonderful thing to finally go back downstairs and hold my baby, I was instantly in love and just in awe.

God was good, even though things didn't go as I would have liked, He knew what was best and kept me and baby safe and healthy. And I do know, if I have another baby, I'm totally scheduling a c-section. The labor I did experience without the epidural, was horrible, I never want to go through that again. Thank the Lord for modern medicine!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

38 weeks and reflections

I'm thinking this will probably be the last blog entry I write until our sweet little one is born. Can't believe I'm 38 weeks today! God is so good!

As the time draws nearer, I can't help but think of these last days Jesse and I have together, with it being just us. It's been just us for the past 5 years, and even though we've been longing for three years to be parents, it's been just us. We won't ever get that back, that's not a bad thing, it's just one of those things I've been thinking about lately.

Did we make the best use of our time together these past 5 years? We've had our ups and downs, and our highs and lows, but I believe we really have made the best of these 5 years together without kids. My mom arrives in six days and will be with us several weeks, so this week is really the last week it will be only us, the ending of an era you might say.

Now don't be concerned, Jesse and I fully intend to get away often, we have tons of family and friends who have offered to be babysitters, and we will not let this precious baby get in the way of our relationship. It was he and I, before she was ever in the picture, and we won't forget that. We believe it's very important to remember us before kids.

On the other side of the coin, I can't help but get SO excited about the holiday season this year with our daughter - every Thanksgiving/Christmas for the past couple years I've longed for a baby to celebrate with, and every holiday that passes, I would write in my journal and say something like, "Maybe next year will be the year we will have our own little baby to celebrate with!" I'm so glad that dream is coming true this year, and I know that the holiday season this year will be a very special one for us.

I also can't help but remember all my precious friends that still haven't had their dreams answered for them this year, I will never forget the long journey of TTC that it took Jesse and I to get to this point, and I will never forget my dear friends who are still in that journey. To them I say, hold on fast, try to enjoy day to day life without getting bogged down in this journey like I did so much and regret, know that I am always here for you and love each and every one of you, I know the Lord holds you each in a special place in His heart.


Friday, September 2, 2011

More then ready

Ok so the time has come in my pregnancy where I am extremely ready to have this little girl. I am getting so uncomfortable, and not sleeping, and I'm just tired of being tired. I felt at first as if I couldn't complain at all about things like this in my pregnancy, because we did try for 2 and a half years to get pregnant - but was reminded by sweet friends that it's ok. We have just a little over 3 weeks to go and I am MORE THEN READY to have her on the outside, I think Jesse and I both are. I just pray the Lord will give me the energy to hold out until she does come. I can see the end in sight, praise the Lord!

And now, just for some recent random facts/thoughts in and of my life:

- I have been eating things I never eat the past few weeks, I think my daughter has a sweet tooth - coke, skittles, I've been craving donuts but have yet to get some, key lime pie, ice cream, chocolate milk, and I could go on.

- There are nerves and muscles I never knew existed in my stomach/pelvic area and region until now. Thanks Cassie!

- My husband is amazingly sweet, and is there for me more then I could ever ask, and oh yeah, he's super excited about meeting his daughter.

- My mom comes in the 19th!!!!!!!!

- I love our Bible study small group from church, they are such an encouragement.

- I'm really dreading fall, because that means a horrible MN winter is coming - even though fall is one of my absolutely favorite times of the year. :sigh:

- At least I will have an adorable distraction this winter as I get to know Cassie!

- I wish we had a jacuzzi tub for my poor aching back and muscles.

- I love ice cold water!

- Jesse is a fantastic grill master, we have had majorly yummy food this summer because of it, mmmm.

- God is amazing!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

7 weeks to go!

I suppose it really is time for an update....we have seven weeks to go until our precious daughter makes her entrance into this world, obviously that's her due date, she could come earlier or later, we'll just have to see. This momma is definitely getting a lot more uncomfortable in these last stages of pregnancy, but enjoying all the amazing movements of Cassie in my belly. We have almost everything ready for her arrival, family and friends have been SO very generous with gifts and showers for us during this time, God is SO good, and we can never thank everyone enough for everything they've done. We are blessed! We can't wait to meet Cassandra Faith and show her off to the world, and snuggle and love her to death. :)

Miss my mom a lot these days.....wish she could just move in with us for a couple months! I am really looking forward to the couple weeks she'll be here before and after Cassie gets here, it will be so nice to have her around, hopefully she won't get too bored.

Thinking about life lately, and how difficult things are whether its family, or job, or marriage, or just life in general, we really have no one else to rely on except for Christ. I really want my prayer life to be more, I have so much to pray for, and so much talking to do with my Savior, how can I not want more out of my prayer life?

There seems to be so much on my mind right now, but I can't articulate it all or type it all out without me seeming rambly, so I guess I'll just stop for now. Maybe I'll have more inspiration later on in the next week or two and be able to post a better blog entry.

Until then....remember to look to the Lord for all of your needs, and thank Him for all the blessings you have in your life right now!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Too long!

Wow, I have really neglected my poor little blog.....sad! We absolutely love our town home, it's so nice to be out of our apartment and into something so much more homey. We have been so busy the last few weeks making it seem like ours, and we are quite happy with what we've done. And I am definitely not complaining about the 400 extra square feet. :) I actually get excited about cleaning and picking up, and I'm getting quite "nesty" getting ready for baby Cassie's arrival.

A little update on Cassie, I am 26 weeks today, only 14 more weeks to go, which makes me think WHOA everytime. She'll be here before we know it! We have another ultrasound a week from Wednesday, just so they can see the chambers of her heart better, and we will get a confirmation that she is definitely a she. ;) As of today she is almost 2 pounds, and 14 inches long! And she is such an active cutie patootie, I love feeling her all the time and I make sure I talk to her often.

July is going to be a very fun month for me - my aunt and cousins from Iowa are coming up to visit the beginning of the second week, and then around the 22nd my mom and sister get to come visit! Jesse and I also get to participate in a fun maternity photo shoot which I'm very much looking forward too. Oh and I also get to have my Sullivan family baby shower at the end of the month, so that will be fun. Speaking of showers, I'm looking forward to closest upcoming one that my friend Johanna is throwing me, this Saturday in fact! It will be a fun brunch get together with a few dear friends, and should be lots of fun. People are SO generous and Jesse and I could not be more grateful!!

In August, I'm looking forward to a Crossings girls get together at Johanna's house - the Crossings is the website where Jesse and I met, people who used to be homeschooled in the ATI program. It will be awesome to see people I've met before, and to meet new faces that I've always wanted to meet!

And then of course September we will be just waiting for the arrival of our precious baby girl.....hopefully she will not be making too late of an arrival, we are quite anxious to meet her. My mom will be flying up a day or two before my due date, and my best friend from Maine is still trying to work things out so hopefully she can be here too. It will be a very exciting time as we expand our family!

Well I guess that's about it.....goodness, I update this about as often as I do my poor journal, lol. I really need to get better. Have a great day everyone!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Pink is a fantastic color

Yep that's right, most of you know, but I had to blog about it - we found out on Monday that we are having a precious little girl! We were thrilled to hear the news, I have so been wanting a girl since my mom kept having those brothers, and I kept wanting a sister, it's just spilled over into my marriage, and the Lord is SO good. We absolutely cannot wait to meet our little daughter. We are naming her Cassandra Faith, Cassie for short - Cassandra means "Prophet" and Faith obviously means "Faithful", so I think its kind of neat that we'll be having a faithful prophet. :)

To see her so much bigger on the ultrasound this time around was absolutely amazing, she is getting so big and beautiful, and she even gave us a little smile that we were able to capture in a picture. She was bouncing all around and moving and just showing us that she is growing and healthy!

I have been day dreaming ever since we found out she is a girl, and I am just having the sweetest day dreams about what it will be like to be a mommy to our beautiful little girl - it's amazing how much I love Cassie already, its like she's been a part of us forever and I can't imagine life without her now. Her daddy is beyond excited about having a daughter, and I can already see what a wonderful father he's going to be. I truly believe she's going to be a daddy's girl and will have him wrapped around her little finger. ;) Although she might be wrapped around mommy's little finger too, lol.

We are so blessed, the Lord is SO good.....and we will be traveling to Arkansas to visit family a week from today, and then moving into our awesome new town home the first of June! The Lord is blessing so much, and we are so grateful.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Baby news and springy things

I sure have been neglecting my poor blog lately, so sad. I will start out this post by saying, praise the Lord I am finally feeling better and I believe I have finally hit the "honeymoon" phase of my pregnancy, now that I am in my second trimester and will be 15 weeks tomorrow! Yay! I still have smells that bug me every now and then, and I still get extremely exhausted very easily, but the sickness is pretty much gone and I am cooking again and today I am actually doing some apartment spring cleaning - it has been much needed. It is so wonderful to actually feel like doing these things again, so while I feel good, I'm taking advantage of it.

Our little sweet pea is doing exceptionally well, growing like a weed, and we got some really good ultrasound pictures at the DR office the other day, we got a really cute one of the feet, our baby totally has Jesse's long feet and toes, I love it! :) And I know I felt the baby move the other night, I rolled over on my stomach and after a couple of minutes felt a few gloopy taps on my side as if sweet pea was saying, "Stop squishing me mommy!" It was a shocking and lovely experience! I can't wait until baby is bigger and I can feel it even better. We can't wait for the next 5 weeks to fly by because then we get to find out what sweet pea is - boy or girl, pink or blue, another little Anna or another little Jesse.

Until then, I have an exciting trip planned to Maine in exactly 2 weeks and I absolutely cannot wait! I haven't seen my best friend Julie in a year and that is just entirely too long. We get to spend 10 days together, eating Chinese take out, snuggling on the bed watching movies and having girl talks, maternity clothes shopping, makeup application I'm sure, yummy breakfasts, and so much more. We hope to take lots of pictures and make tons of memories! Then at the end of May, Jesse and I get to go to Arkansas to visit my family and show off my baby belly, and have a big church shower with all my family and friends. That will be a lot of fun!

We have been looking for a town home the past month, this apartment is growing too small and we know once the baby comes, we really need a washer and dryer - going over to the in laws with tons of baby stuff to wash would just be too big of a hassle. And we need more room, and Jesse really wants a dog. Oh, and our 3rd floor apartment gets WAY too hot in the summer! So yeah, lol, for all those reasons, we are looking for a town home in the area to rent. We will hopefully be moving into one by June 1st, so that will be exciting - hopefully we find something awesome.

It is SO nice today, I have the windows open while I'm doing some spring cleaning, and its making the apartment smell so good! I've waited months to be able to do this, and its just making me a happy little camper. I think that's about all the update I was planning on doing, so I'd better get back to cleaning and throwing away!

For fun, please share your favorite spring/summer food dish - something yummy and not too heavy! I can't wait to hear what you recommend!

Friday, February 18, 2011

First Trimester

Lets just say I have been neglecting the blog because this first trimester has been kicking my butt! Wow, I have never been so sick and exhausted....this little baby is growing and developing just fine in my opinion. ;) It's difficult too because I have so much going on, and I am SO excited about being a mom, but when day in and day out you just feel absolutely miserable, its just difficult. My husband has had to put up with so much and he is so sweet to do so. I have a month left in this first trimester, and I've heard that the second trimester is like the honeymoon of the pregnancy, so I am VERY much looking forward to it.

We had our first DR appt the other day and it was absolutely amazing to see the teeny heartbeat on the monitor, it's such a miracle! When the DR printed out our ultrasound picture and my name was on it, it was like I was looking down at myself saying, "Is this really happening to me?" And yes it totally is, God is so good.

Oh how I am longing for spring, mostly because in this tiny apartment the stifling smells and things have really been making my nausea worse, which is not good. We have the window open right now, even though it's a little chilly, the sun is out and the fresh air smells so good, spring please come quickly!!

I have a hankering to make homemade bread due to one of my friends having just made a yummy loaf of bread and shared it with the blogging I may just have to make some, it sounds really good right now.

I will try to blog more often, but know that if I'm not, I'm just trying to get through this first trimester and send me an email or give me a call letting me know you're praying for me! :) Love you all!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

God is so good!

Well here I am many hours later, and still just as excited as ever. Every time I think about it I get butterflies in my stomach and I can't hardly sit still. Over the past 2 and a half years I've thought so many times that getting pregnant was just impossible, and it was never going to happen to me, and I just didn't deserve it. But here I am, 2 and a half grueling long years later and the Lord has answered our prayers.

We only were on one round of Clomid as you all know, and it worked, guess that's all the jump start my body needed, praise the Lord. He is SO faithful, and I know there are so many lessons that I wouldn't have learned had I not gone through the experience I did. It's just so hard to believe that our baby journey is over, and now we are starting a new journey, our parenting journey, crazy to realize that!

I will never forget the trials and heartaches we went through to get here, it will always be fresh in my mind, it was a good portion of our married life and its not something that's easily forgotten. And because we went through so much and had to wait so long, this baby will be even that much more loved - I am already talking to my little one and telling him/her how much I love them and how very much they are wanted, and every time I do I want to cry tears of joy.

My heart SO goes out to my dear friends who are still in their baby journey and who are still having to go through heartaches, I will always be here for each and everyone of you and just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I haven't walked in your shoes and can't completely sympathize with with each of you. You know I've been there, and have hope, I thought we were never going to get pregnant, I thought things were hopeless, but God knew better. And I know even as I'm trying to encourage you, I remember when those that came before me would get pregnant after years of trying, I would think "Yeah right, my time will never come, it's not fair!" But just know I love you and I will always be here for you.

I made my first DR appt today, and it actually is on Valentines Day which will be the 8 week mark for me, what a great present! :) And just a few days after my 26th birthday too - February is going to be a fantastic month! We then have another appt on March 14th, and by then I'll be about 12 weeks along and we'll be able to hear my little precious one's heart beat! I so can't wait for that day.

I want to thank everyone who constantly prayed for us through this journey and wept with us when we wept and who are now rejoicing with us. God is SO good and SO faithful, He has shown Himself strong and proven Himself so much to me, I am in awe of how much He loves us!

Thursday, January 27, 2011


And yes I will do a longer blog post soon but I just had to share the news on this blog....I absolutely cannot believe it, God is SO good!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Spring Business!!

Wow, it's been a while since I have blogged, I apologize, life has gotten busy (which I love and prefer of course) and I just haven't had time. So I have a few minutes here in which I will blog. :)

I have taken on a couple of new things this spring - I have never vocally directed any sort of show before, but I will be Vocal Director of two this spring! One will be for the Woodbury Community Theater for their Cheaper By the Dozen, The Musical, and for a church in St. Paul that needs a VD for their kids drama production this year. I am so excited to get involved with a theater again, it's been too long, it's where I feel free and wonderful.

I went to the WCT production meeting last night for Cheaper By the Dozen, and the people I met are fantastic - so laid back and so much fun, they will all be wonderful to work with, I can already tell.

Along with my theater things, I am also doing more makeup, I have a couple of weddings booked this year and I am very excited about that. I met a wonderful gal last night and I helped her go makeup shopping, I will be doing her wedding makeup later this year, and I will have to say I definitely made a new friend. :)

On top of all of this, I plan to continue my Monday and Tuesday evening music lessons, Wed evening Bible study, I will be starting a young married/mothers Bible study the first week of February, I am picking my vocal ensemble back up and we will be meeting Sunday night, a dancer friend of mine is going to give me dance lessons in exchange for piano lessons, I am going to continue working out 3-4 times a week, still hang out with all my wonderful friends, and oh yeah, keep trying to get pregnant. ;) I love it when my life gets so busy and I go from one thing to the next - every now and then I may need a small break, but I can't have one too long otherwise I start getting antsy again.

So that is my life right now! What do you have planned for this spring?

Monday, January 3, 2011

New Years Goals

It's a new year, I can't believe it's 2011! This past year has probably been one of the fastest years we've had yet, probably because we did so much this summer with Jesse's deployment and such. It was probably really good to have so many distractions since we faced yet another year with no pregnancy. Now we have begun the new year, and hopefully wonderful things are to come! We will know by the beginning of February if this round of Clomid worked or not, I am trying to not get my hopes up too much, but I'm allowing myself a teeny bit. :)

I always make goals and resolutions every year, I don't always make or meet them, but I would say last year I did really good with most of them, so here is my list for 2011!

Get pregnant - yes this has been on my list now for several New Years, but it's still a huge goal of mine, and with us starting on Clomid last week perhaps we'll finally be able to see it become a reality.

Get to see my best friend several times

Make a bunch of new friends & several new couple friends for Jesse and I

Find a church we can really call home

Really get my makeup artist career underway - do makeup for at least 10-15 weddings, continue meeting with a salon owner like I've been doing and freelancing for her, doing makeup for photo shoots, etc.

Go see Wicked in Wisconsin in Feb for my birthday!!!

Have a great Broadway Music Revue show in the spring with several friends

Read a lot of books

Lose 10-15 more pounds

Be in our own house and out of this apartment by Christmas

Dress much more stylish this summer - Sarah Pravel helped me SO much with my winter wear, and when summer rolls around she will help me with outfits for then too

Taken dance lessons

Save a lot of money

Become more of a prayer warrior

What are your New Years resolutions and goals?